Stupid People
by EE's Skysong
Summary: Isn't it amazing what havoc two friends making out in a bathroom can wreak? Ch. 8: We like causing you anguish. You're not angsty enough, Sam. Honestly, how have you managed to stay on the team all these years? Rahm
1. Chapter 1

Disclaimer: "What is love?" "A four-letter word!"

(An: I'd like to say I was dared to do this, but I don't think I can blame Rahmfan and Theycallmeorange anymore… This is set ten years after the series ends. For those few of you who already read this, thank you. This is just something to bung up in my current drought. It was posted as one long oneshot to prove a point and now is reposted in chapter form because I know it's worth more than four reviews.)

Rahne and Sam were sitting on the bathroom floor. Sam was also very involved with kissing Rahne.

Ordinarily, this wouldn't have been a problem... except for Jonothan Starsmore's usual bad timing. _Oh my _God. (1)

It was a testament to how tricky boys find bras that Sam ignored Jono's telepathic comment in favor of figuring out Rahne's.

&&&

Rewind.

The time, five years ago. The scene, Rahne and Jubilee's shared room. The players, Rahne Sinclair and Tabitha Smith.

Rahne was sitting on her bed, working on an essay for college, when Tabitha burst in, slamming the door straight against the wall in her excitement. "Rahne!" she cried, sitting down on the bed, her arms crossed over her chest.

Rahne looked up, her curiosity peaked. She hadn't seen Tabitha this happy in... ever. "What's up?"

"Oh, Rahne, you won't believe it!"

Rahne raised an eyebrow. Tabitha had never come off to her as the squealy, dance-around-the-point type.

Tabitha seemed to realize how out of character she was behaving and sat up, crossing her legs, so a gold band with a diamond on her finger glinted in the sun. "Sam proposed!"

Rahne was amazed at her acting skills. A huge, friendly, I'm-so-happy-for-you-I-could-just-_die_ smile came onto her face.

Now, mind, Sam didn't know that she was completely and utterly a fool for him. And he _had_ been dating Tabby for almost a year. And she _had_ seen him jewelry shopping yesterday. But that didn't stop her instincts from howling for her to rip Tabby to shreds and ravage Sam for his betrayal.

"That's... that's wonderful, Tabby," Rahne stammered.

"I know!" She jumped up and spun around, hugging herself and looking as though she couldn't be happier.

And, Rahne supposed, in her place, she would have had the same reaction. But now Rahne would never _be_ in her place, and that thought alone was enough to make Rahne desperate to go outside and howl her grief at losing someone she was _sure_ was her lifemate to this... this... _American_!

"I need the bathroom. I'll be right back." She stalked out.

"What's the matter with you?" Jubilee asked, when she spotted her roommate. She fell into step beside the irate Rahne.

Rahne was too focused on staying human to put it eloquently, so she just said, "Sam proposed to Tabby."

"Well..." said Jubilee. "It's not like you _told_ Sam you were mad about him, right?"

"Don't rub it in," Rahne growled.

"Where are you going, anyway?"

"To kill something small and furry."

"And innocent!"

"And undeniably delicious."

"You're pathetic. You don't even _know_ what Rob's planning, d'you?"

Rahne stopped and looked her friend over. "What?"

Jubilee smirked at Rahne. "Oh, I ain't telling." She ran off.

Her anger forgotten for confusion (and a little bit of interest), Rahne went to find Rob.

&&&

Back to the present...

Since Sam had rolled over on top of Rahne, she now could see Jono, who was still standing there, his eyes looking as though they were going to fall out of his head at any moment.

Reluctantly, she pushed Sam off her. He looked down at her, confused, and she pointed at Jamie. "Shit," said both of them in unison.

_You're not kidding_, said Jono.

&&&

Backwards again...

Rob was sitting in the common room, muttering to himself. Rahne watched this spectacle curiously. It wasn't often one caught him off his guard.

"Oh, that's not right, she won't answer that," Rob muttered, and then happened to glance up. "Rahne!"

A corner of Rahne's mouth went up. She could've sworn that Rob was blushing under his dark skin. She slid onto the couch beside him. "Jubilee says you were plotting something," she commented, not bothering with being coy.

"Uh..." said Rob.

"Something to do with me," Rahne said.

"Uh..." said Rob.

"Something interesting, by her tone," said Rahne.

"Uh..." said Rob.

"That's not an answer, Roberto," said Rahne, accenting every syllable of his name with a poke.

"Wouldyouwantogooutwithmesometime?" Roberto blurted.

"Sorry?"

Roberto sucked in a deep breath and repeated, in his usual stoic tone, "Would you want to go with me sometime?"

"Out?"

Rob stared at Rahne.

Rahne was floored. "Out? L-like a date out?"

"Yes," said Rob.

"Like today?"

"If you wanted to..."

"Uh..." A picture of Sam's face flashed into her mind, followed by the image of Tabby on Jubilee's bed, squealing about her engagement. "Yes. Yes. I would like that. Very much."

&&&

And again, back to the present...

_Is it a regular thing in marriages_, asked Jono, _to forget one is married, or am I just naïve?_

"Er..." said Sam and Rahne together, staring at each other.

_I remembered you two being more articulate._

"Do us a favor, Jono?" said Sam. "Don't tell anybody, huh?"

_I won't, but someone's gonna find out eventually…_ He shut the door.

Sam and Rahne looked at each other.

"It was a one-time thing," said Rahne. "This kinda thing happens between friends all the time- just ask Kitty and Kurt! It's not like it meant anything!"

"Yeah," said Sam, looking at the floor. "Absolutely."

"This never happened," said Rahne, picking herself (and her shirt) up. She pulled it over her head and walked out, her face still as red as her hair.

"Right," Sam mumbled.

&&&

You get the idea by now, right?

Rahne's first date with Rob was... interesting, to say the least. "Don't talk to the waiters," Rob had advised her, before they went into the restaurant. "They pretend not to speak any English and then mock you behind your back."

"And you know this... how?"

"I speak Spanish," said Rob, with his equivalent of a "duh" look.

"Right," said Rahne.

She ended up discovering she was allergic to shellfish and had to be rushed to the hospital. Ok, so it didn't go that well.

But Rob had meant it for the best, and... well, he wasn't Sam, but he was cute, at least. He was nice in his own way.

So, after a week, Rob asked her out again. And she said yes, again.

And when, after over a year of dating, he asked to marry her, she said yes for a third time.

&&&

Sam shifted in his seat beside his wife. It was very hard to concentrate on what she was saying (which was probably important) when Tabitha and Rahne (who had been, to his chagrin, prominent in his thoughts for a while now) were duking it out in his head for macking privileges. There was mud. Lots of it.

Tabby hit him. Apparently, he'd just missed a question. "W-what?" he stammered.

"God, Sam, you're even more out of it than usual," Tabitha sighed, flicking him in the ear.

"Ow!"

"I thought it would be funnier when you were actually paying attention to me," Tabby explained.

"Sure, whatever," said Sam, rolling his eyes.

"Aw, baby, you know you love me."

"Always." At this, the Rahne in his head immediately went wolf, tackled her Tabitha counterpart and began to savage her.

&&&

Rahne woke up at home, nursing a hangover. The events with Sam were still fresh in her mind. There was a glass of water, two aspirin, and a note on the dresser table. Rahne smiled slightly. Although Sam was always the prevalent man in her mind, Rob wasn't a bad catch. She swallowed the pills and gulped the water, reading the note. "_Amor_- had a mission. Logan agreed to let you sleep. There probably won't be anyone else in the mansion. Feel better. Rob."

Rahne sighed, falling back onto the bed and feeling even _guiltier_ than she had a minute ago.

&&&

We're going back... to before then...

Last night had been a party, to celebrate Remy and Rogue's engagement.

Since it was _Remy's_ engagement, there was lots of beer. This led to lots of people either throwing up or having to pee, so all of the bathrooms were in use.

This put Sam in a spot. "Argh," he muttered, coming to a fourth locked stall. He ran off in search of another bathroom. Which one did our dear Guthrie find? Why, the only bathroom in the whole mansion that locked from the outside, of course!

Sam didn't notice this. He had more... pressing matters on his mind.

And when he finally did realize what had happened... well, he was screwed.

After five minutes of trying the doorknob, Sam decided that it wasn't gonna work, and settled for banging on the door (he didn't think of cannonballing through it; one of the things about being in a predicament like that is that the most obvious solution only ever hits you _after_ you resolve it).

Rahne, being Rahne, was in an adjacent room. When she heard Sam yelling for help, naturally she had to rush over to see what was up. "Sam?" she asked, peering around the corner.

"I'm kinda stuck in here," said Sam from behind the door. "Think you could gimme a hand?"

Rahne blinked. _He's in a bathroom... how'd he get stuck?_ She shrugged. _He asked..._ She opened the door.

"Don't-" said Sam... just as it clicked shut. He slumped over with a sigh.

Rahne, however, heard or saw nothing of this, just staring at Sam. What else was she supposed to do, when her crush of ten-odd years was standing in front of her in his boxers?

Sam realized this about the same time he realized Rahne was staring at him.

Before he had the chance to be embarrassed, Rahne had tackled him. As their lips met, both thought, _I hope there won't be any negative repercussions to this... _

&&&

Back... to the future!

Rahne felt her cheeks heat up at the memory. It made her feel absolutely horrible to realize that she'd packed more passion into those five or so minutes than she had in her whole marriage to Rob.

"I mean," she said, swinging her legs over the edge of the bed as she thought aloud, "I should be happy, right? I have a great husband. I have a great life. Anybody would envy me. So..." She tilted her head back, putting her hands behind her head. "Oh, who am I kidding? I'm just being a jerk to Roberto and making myself more miserable... but it's not like I can do anything about it."

In an unusual funk, the red-haired mutant made her way downstairs, hoping to drown her miseries in muffins.

(And that's the first chapter done. I just wanted to get all of the flashbacks out of the way. Review, dudes!)

(1) Jonothan Evan Starsmore, aka Chamber. A Generation X character. He's missing the lower half of his mouth and most of his chest, so he uses his powers to speak telepathically. He's basically a walking furnace- it's what keeps him alive.


	2. Chapter 2

Disclaimer: "Doubt is that annoying neighbor who never visits unless he needs something."

(An: This is one of the sillier chapters… well, they're all silly, but this one has Bobby in it, so there you go.)

"So what I was telling you," Tabitha said to Sam, "was that the Professor called."

Sam perked up somewhat. "What did he want?"

"He wants to offer you a teaching job, apparently," Tabby replied, taking a sip of her coffee.

Sam drummed his fingers on the table. "What do you think?" he asked, after a moment.

"Well, you want to do it, don't you?"

"Yeah... a lot."

"Well, then, I say go for it. Whatever you want, baby." She leaned over and kissed his cheek. With that, she sauntered off to get dressed.

Sam smiled at her as she left, pleased that the incident with Rahne hadn't changed their relationship too much…

Had it?

&&&

Rahne wandered down into the kitchen, yawning. She had just dug up a muffin when the phone rang. She looked at the muffin and then remembered what Rob's note had said about the empty mansion. She groaned and picked up the phone. "Hello, Xavier's Institute, how can I help you?"

"Oh, hi Rahne," said Sam.

Rahne almost dropped the phone. "H-hello, Sam," she stammered.

"Is the professor in?" Sam asked, apparently not sharing Rahne's nervousness.

Rahne sat down, crossing one leg beneath the other and generally fidgeting. "No, sorry. He's out- takin' the new kids to a museum or something. Why d'you ask?"

"Oh, the professor sent me an offer to teach. I wanted to know when I could come in."

Rahne barely heard him say that last. _Sam... teaching..._ here? The idea of forgetting all about their little bathroom incident was easy to swallow when Sam was somewhere in southern Kentucky. Notsomuch when he was living in the institute with her. And she would see him every day, because they _had_ been good friends as students. And she would expect to put up with Tabby showing affection for him. And worse, she would have to show affection for Rob!

"Somebody shoot me," she mumbled.

"Sorry?"

Rahne shook herself. "Sorry, Sam, spaced out for a second. Like I said, the prof ain't in right now. He'll be back before six, though."

"Right. See ya." He hung up.

Rahne rested her elbows on the table, propping her chin on her fist. _Bloody fine mess we're in now, Rahne me girl._

&&&

Sam set down the phone with a sigh. _Saying this isn't going to be easy would win me the understatement of the year award. It would probably win me next year's, too... Tabby would strangle me if she ever found out._

Sam drummed his fingers on the table, frowning. He wasn't going to tell her, that was for sure. But if she found out, she would kill him for cheating, and then kill him again for keeping his mouth shut. _God, I'm screwed._

At the very least, Rahne didn't seem to be upset about it. They had always been best friends, and it seemed that one very random makeout wasn't going to change that. Still, it left him wondering why he'd reciprocated the kiss… he didn't think of Rahne that way, right?

He shook his head. He loved Tabitha. More importantly, he was _married_ to her. Therefore, it was probably best not to go down that road.

&&&

Twiddling a strand of her red hair, Rahne went back to her room. She needed something soothing right now. She looked around the room and grabbed the first thing she saw- her photo album from graduation.

When most of the New Recruits had graduated from high school, Jubilee teamed up with Kitty to make scrapbooks for them all. On the first page was all of their graduation pictures- all of them, right in order.

The next page always made her a little melancholy. It was the picture of all of the New Recruits, sitting around on the day before their team had been officially disbanded, the day before most of them went their separate ways to live separate lives. She touched the picture, a sad little smile on her face. Up in the front, Jubilee had her arms around Bobby; those two had always been together. They were like the Scott and Jean of the newbies, except less nauseating. Amara was next to them, sitting with her boyfriend at the time, Manuel. And then in the back there was Jamie and Ray. They were both half-scowling, because they couldn't stand each other. Rahne would've stood by Jamie, but when the picture was taken she was too busy talking to Sam. She wasn't even looking when the shutter clicked; she was leaning against him. On the edge, sort of by himself, was Rob, his arms crossed and his usual unreadable expression on his face. Tabitha was the only one not in the picture, but that wasn't surprising; everyone knew that Amara was the only reason Tabitha had ever hung around the mansion.

"What the hell do I do now?" Rahne asked the picture. It didn't give her an answer, but it felt good to ask the question, anyway.

&&&

Sam sat on the suitcase to get it to close, zipping it up. Tabby leaned on the doorpost, watching and seeming amused. Sam set the suitcase in the corner.

Tabby came over and sat on the bed, beginning to unbutton her shirt.

Sam paused, and then an image of Rahne popped into his head. "Tabby, I'm sorry," he said, frowning and shaking his head. "I- I don't feel very good now."

Tabby looked at him, an eyebrow raised. "You know, as the girl, it's _my_ job to say that."

"You? Pass up a shag? Never."

She laughed, falling back on the mattress. "True."

He walked over and tweaked her nose. "Maybe later, ok?"

She humphed, crossing her arms, but nodded.

&&&

The next day, Sam slammed the door of his car, staring at the gates. He walked up to them and after a moment there was a beep as they swung open. "Wow, deja vu," said Tabby as he came back and drove the car up the driveway.

"Definitely."

Sam parked and he and Tabby went up to the front door, ringing the doorbell.

_Stupid bloody door duty_, came a thought from inside and it swung open. Standing there was a tall, skinny boy with a scarf covering his neck and most of his face. Jono again, in other words. Sam's eye twitched, but Jono didn't seem to notice. _Oh. Hello, Sam. So you're the new_- He was cut off by a blonde girl pushing past him and tackling Sam.

"SAM!" she squealed.

"Oh," said Sam, looking down at the girl who had just attached herself to his knees. "Hello, Paige." (1)

"Hi, Tabby," said Paige, standing up and smoothing out her shirt. "I'm so glad you guys are here!" She glanced at the boy, who had crossed his arms and was looking underthrilled. "Jono, don't be a prick."

He gave her an "I'll get you later" look, "saying",_ H'llo._

"Prick," said Paige, shoving him into the wall.

_Hey!_

"You deserved it." She seemed to remember that her brother was there and said, "Well, come on. The Prof'll be wanting to talk with you."

"Joy," said Tabitha.

_I _like_ you,_ said Jono.

Paige snorted and grabbed him by the arm. "You too, Jono."

_But-_

"Don't care!"

Jono sighed... or the equivalent thereof, as Paige dragged him off, talking a mile a minute to Sam.

&&&

"You won't believe what you missed, Rahne," Bobby cried, waving his arms. "It was _so cool_!"

"Bad, _bad_ pun," said Jubilee, cracking her gum.

Rahne shook her head. "Now, what exactly were you guys fighting again?"

"...I dunno," said Bobby. "What was it, Jubes?"

She shrugged. "Ask Rob, maybe he knows."

"You're asking _me_?" Rob asked, blinking. He had his arm around Rahne and they were both sitting on the couch.

"Well, it _did_ almost eat you," Bobby pointed out.

"And that makes me know what it was?" Rob replied. "All I know is that it _really_ needed a breath mint."

Bobby snorted. "True, true. Now, like I was saying..."

"You mean you had a point?" said Jubilee.

"Jubesy, darling, I'm trying to tell a story here."

"And..."

"Will you let him get on with it, Jubes?" Rahne said. "This is interesting."

Jubilee flapped a hand at her, but sat down on the arm of the couch.

Before Bobby could continue, though, there was the sound of Paige's Kentucky drawl in hyperspeed. "And-" She paused, looking into the room.

"Sam?" said Jubilee.

"Samuel Guthrie!" cried Bobby, looking overly shocked. "Friend of my heart, have you truly returned to us?"

Jubilee punched him, and he ruined his display with an "Ow!"

"Hey," said Sam, nodding at the room.

"No love for me?" said Tabitha.

"Love!" cried Jubilee, spreading her arms for a hug.

"Yay."

Rob nodded at Sam and Rahne said, in a surprisingly normal voice, "Hi Sam, Tabby."

_I haven't seen this much love in a room since Jamie and his clones met Rachel,_ Jono piped up.

Paige, completely deadpan, smacked him upside the head.

_Oi! Watch it, would you?_ Jono mumbled, messing with his scarf. (2)

"So," said Bobby, walking over and propping his arm on Sam's shoulder (even though Sam was still two inches taller than him). "What brings you to our little branch of insanity, praytell?"

"The Professor offered me a teaching job."

"Ooh!" said Bobby, grinning. "We can get together and plot lesson plans."

_You mean drink beer and eat Twinkies with Beast?_ said Jono.

"Shh," Bobby cautioned. "That's a big teacherly secret." He glanced at Sam. "What are you teaching, anyway?"

"Er... Tabby?" said Sam, looking at his wife.

"Idunno," she said, shrugging. "Professor X didn't really mention a subject."

"Hmm," said Bobby. "There must be a glitch in the system. Hey! I know, you can teach Hickology 101!"

"...Can I kill him, Sam?" Paige interjected. "Please?"

"No," Sam sighed. "Idiot or not, he's still my best friend."

"Oh, I feel loved," said Bobby.

_Americans,_ Jono muttered.

"What's that supposed to mean, _Chamber_?" said Paige, frowning at him.

_Er... Please don't hit me again._

"They're so cute together, I swear," said Jubilee.

_Gah!_ said Jono, at the same time Paige looked at him and went, "That's just weird, ok?"

"I like being able to pick on newbies," said Bobby. "It's fun."

"Shut up or put up, Drake," said Paige, squaring herself.

"_Paige_," said Sam. "Don't make me middle name you."

"But he called us hicks!"

"Still."

"You ruin all my fun."

"_God_, I missed this," said Bobby, grinning.

Sam sat down beside Rob. "Sooo... didja miss me?" he said, mimicking Bobby at his most annoying (which was basically how Bobby sounded now).

"I didn't," said Rahne. "I was having enough trouble." And with that she got up and left.

"Burn!" said Bobby, after a second.

"_I_ missed you," Rob broke in. "Paige just wasn't giving me my daily dose of hick."

"What is _with_ all of the hick jokes?" the mentioned girl demanded.

_It's nothing new,_ said Jono.

Paige punched him again.

_What is with all the punching?_

"It's nothing new," said Paige.

_That was a _horrible_ British accent!_

"Don't care."

Sam sighed in ecstasy. "I missed my friends, didn't you, Tabby?"

Tabitha (who was currently sitting on Jubilee) nodded. "Come on, let's go talk to the prof!"

&&&

After about twenty minutes of discussion with the professor, Sam ended up teaching English. Somehow.

"That was _weird_," said Tabby.

"You're telling me," Sam muttered as they made their way to their new room.

"So," said Tabby as she sat on the bed. "How about we break this place in?"

Sam paused, then thought of the hard look on Rahne's face as she'd walked out. He nodded as Tabby pulled him down for a kiss.

(Sorta!Angst! Fun! And there was so much Jono in this chapter… yay. Review!)

(1) One of Sam's myriad siblings, Paige Guthrie, AKA Husk. 'Nother Gen-X-er. She can shed her skin to give herself a different type of skin (rubber, glass, stone), or to clean or heal herself. Yes, it is as disgusting as it sounds.

(2) Jono uses his scarf to cover up the giant, glowing energy field where his chest used to be. He pulls it down when he wants to zap something.


	3. Chapter 3

Disclaimer:

(An: Ok, this is one of the longer chapters… finally… it's also one of my favorites. Check out all the random cameos!)

"Grr," said Rahne as Rob sat on the bed beside her. She'd been sitting up there since the discussion in the living room. One of the good things about Rob, she had to admit, was that he didn't question her moods. He was one of the few people in the mansion who understood that Rahne had two cycles to put up with and wasn't to blame if she was grumpy.

This made a good excuse for the times when she was sick of being married to someone she didn't love and took her anger at herself out on other people.

"It's ok, _amor_," said Rob. "Just get some rest, huh?"

Rahne rolled over on her back, groaning. "I'm sorry, Rob," she mumbled. "I shouldn't snap at you just because I'm PMS-ing."

Rob kissed her lightly on the mouth. "It's _ok_."

"God_damn_ you and your niceness," she muttered.

Rob laughed. "You know you love me for it."

_Oh, God. Lightning's just going to strike me now. Strike! Strike, dammit, just stop me from feeling so guilty!_

&&&

A few hours later, Tabitha emerged from the room. "God, I need a Midol," she muttered, grinning. She started for the med lab, hoping to ask Beast for some. What she ran into first was more unexpected. She came around the corner and ran into a tall young woman. Both of them ended up on the ground, glaring at each other. "Hey, watch-" She paused, eyes widening. "_Amara_?"

"T-Tabitha!" the Nova Roman stuttered, backing off and standing up, her grace forgotten. "I- I didn't know you were staying here."

"I thought you went back to Nova Roma," Tabby agreed.

"It did not work out," she replied quietly.

"Oh," said Tabby, equally softly. "So, um... how've you been?"

"Fine enough." She looked her friend over and sighed. "Come. We should talk. It's been too long."

Tabby nodded. "Definitely."

&&&

It was Sam's first English class, and it was going well enough... well, for him, anyway. "Quoth the raven-"

"Eat my shorts," said one of the students- Sam thought his name was Morph, but he wasn't sure if he just hadn't caught his real name. Of course, at this, the class dissolved in laughter. (1)

Sam sighed.

"I'm sorry, sir," said Morph, grinning. "'The Raven' just loses so much impact in your accent."

"Hey!" said Paige.

Morph just smirked at her.

"Ok, fine," said Sam, smiling a little himself. "We'll have Jono read it."

_Why me?_ the Brit demanded, sitting up straighter.

"Because apparently you've got a more sophisticated accent, and anyway, you were asleep, so you should have no problem."

_But I'm from Liverpool!_ (2)

Sam blinked.

Jono sighed, shaking his head. _Bloody Americans_, he thought-muttered, but it seemed only perfunctory; he turned to the material and read it without a hitch.

"Was that more acceptable, Morph?" Sam asked of the pale slacker.

"Well, he _is_ from Liverpool..."

Sam sighed, rubbing his temples.

"Aw, sir, it's your first day," said Morph. "You know we can't go easy on you."

"That's right, Sam," said Paige, giggling. "Oh, I almost forgot." She made a fist and smacked Morph in the back of the head.

"Ow!"

_I know._

"Paige, please try and keep the violence to a minimum, huh? We've already got two restraining orders in Kentucky; we don't need any more."

_A bit late for that_, Jono snickered.

"Hey! That one wasn't my fault," Paige protested. "He was asking for it."

"So were the guys in Kentucky," said Sam. He glanced at the clock. "Class dismissed. You all have DR next, anyway."

"So is that a good thing or a bad thing?" said Morph.

"You must be new."

&&&

Amara rested her head on her arms, listening to Tabitha talk. "I dunno, it just seems like there's been something on his mind lately," the blonde girl murmured. "He never seems quite focused on me... I mean, it's not a bad thing, but we've been married for over five years; I can tell when something's bothering him. I'd ask him about it, but the problem seems to have something to do with me..." She sighed.

"I would not know what to tell you," said Amara. "My relationships all seem to end badly."

Tabitha frowned at her. "Please, Amara- can't the past be the past? We both decided it would be better to just be friends."

"I know," Amara whispered, closing her eyes. "I'm sorry."

"Hey, it's ok," said Tabby, brushing the hair out of her friend's face. "You're still upset over that jerk dumping you, huh?"

Amara nodded.

Tabby bit her lip, thinking, and then said, "Come on. Let's go find something vapid to do. That always helped with our troubles before."

Amara smiled a little. "I would like that."

&&&

After a long mall-crawl, Tabitha usually felt satisfied, or at least pleased with her purchases. Not so. Even though she smiled and teased Amara, her mind was running at lightspeed. She wasn't one to lie to herself. And she kept coming back to one conclusion that she really would have rather avoided: She still had feelings for Amara.

She hadn't felt like this about any other person she'd ever known, so she recognized it for what it was right away, and she understood why Amara had run away when things had started getting serious between them; the way she felt around the girl was pretty scary. Especially since she still felt the same way after a betrayal, seven years apart, and Sam.

Oh, God, Sam. When Amara wasn't around, it was easy to believe that she loved him, and she did. Sam was a wonderful, funny, sweet guy who would do anything for her. He just wasn't Amara, and that made all the difference.

Tabitha fidgeted with one of her rings. _Ok, so Amara is still your world. What are you going to do about it?_

Like before, she kept coming up with only one conclusion: _Nothing_. Sam was, as stated, a sweet guy, and Tabitha could tolerate spending the rest of her life with him. She knew Sam was honestly in love with her, and it wasn't worth breaking his heart for a girl who had already broken Tabby's.

At least, that's what she kept telling herself.

&&&

Rahne was prowling the grounds, trying to take out some of her rage on something, anything, that came within jaw distance. Unfortunately, there seemed to be nothing willing. Then she paused, her ears pricked. _Hmm... there's somebody wanderin' around, and they smell weird. Fun time!_ She followed the scent and snuck up on the intruder, a girl bending over a plant. Rahne grinned in her head, raising her hackles and doing her best snarl.

The girl, hearing this, turned and gasped. _Peace, peace, wise one!_

Rahne paused. _Well, you're an interesting gal and no mistake..._

"A talking wolf?" she said aloud. _I've certainly never met anyone like you, sister,_ she thought-said, bending down and holding out a hand for Rahne to sniff.

Rahne went human, brushing herself off. "That's because I'm not really a wolf, but that should be obvious."

The girl grinned. "I'm Dani. Danielle Moonstar."

"Rahne DaCosta." Rahne held out her hand to shake.

"Cool name- hippie parents? Rain's not as trippy as Moonstar, but I have an excuse. I'm Cheyenne." ()

"Scottish." The women grinned at each other.

"Awesome. Think you could show me to the prof's office? Been a while since I've been here."

"Sure. What brings you to our neck of the woods, Dani?"

"My grandfather died." Rahne wasn't sure how to reply to this cheerful statement. Thankfully, Dani went on. "That was the only reason I was staying at the reservation, so I came here. Have you been here long?"

"Yeah," Rahne said. "I think I've heard about you- Kitty met you while I was gone. My guardian made me go home for a while after the whole mutant menace thing."

"Ah." Dani nodded.

"So what's your power?"

"I can project people's fears or their desires, depending on the situation. And some odd side effect is a minor telepathy with animals." Dani shrugged. "I don't really understand it... I don't really like my powers, to tell you the truth."

Entering the mansion, Dani whistled. "Who's that?" she asked, pointing at Rob.

"My husband." Rahne was aware that she had ought to be jealous about the way Dani was ogling him, but she didn't really mind. Rob _was_ drop-dead gorgeous, after all. He just wasn't Sam.

"Er..." Dani dropped her eyes and pretended to inspect the paneling.

Rahne laughed. "Come on, let's find Chuck."

&&&

For about a week, no further complications arose in Rahne's love life. Sure, she saw Sam every day and had to pretend she didn't give a damn that they would never be more than friends (which she did by completely blowing him off), but she had quickly become close with Dani. It was relaxing to have a close girlfriend who didn't know about Sam.

She thought that things would probably stay that way and, while it still occasionally ached to have Sam around, she was ok with it.

That was, until Sam ended up teaching Danger Room.

More specifically, Sam and Rob got stuck with Logan's DR session. "Ok," said Sam, sounding bored. Lined up in front of him were all the X-kids (they were at odds whether they were called Generation X or the New X-men). "Logan's out on one of those past discovering journey things he does, so me and Rob here are stuck teaching you."

The X-squirts exchanged delighted looks. "Now, before you start thinking you can walk all over me and 'Berto here, I'd like to mention how important this is."

"So getting our asses kicked and having you yell at us for it really does have a point?" Morph piped up.

Sam looked up from his clipboard, eyebrows raised. "Believe it or not, yes."

"Don't knock it, Sam," said Rob, looking amused. "That used to be you."

"I don't remember being that pale."

"Are you saying I'm Southern?" Morph demanded at the same time. This caused Paige to shove him. "Nobody loves me."

_So what else is new?_ Jono pointed out.

"Screw you, Chamber."

"Ok, ok, focus. This is a big deal. This is the sim we run when we're picking new X-men."

Excited whispers ran through the crowd.

"Yeah, since X23 got married to that Morlock, we've been in need of a new crazy person- I-I mean Logan stoogey."

"He means X-man," said Rob. "Whoever lasts the longest gets to be on the official team."

Paige raised her hand.

"Yeah, what?"

"Does this mean we get to design our own uniforms?"

"Yep," said Sam. "It's a beautiful thing. God knows I don't miss _my_ old uniform." He and Rob exchanged shudders. "Anyway, this sim isn't about beating it- that's pretty damn hard to do, even for the seniors. But whichever one of you holds your own the longest gets the spot."

All of the X-kids began talking excitedly among themselves.

"Focus, people!" Rob yelled.

"Rob and I will pull you out when you get hit," Sam went on. "But hopefully, if y'all focus and don't pull heroics, you might end up paintballed instead of unconscious."

"Paintballed?" Morph demanded. "What a gyp!"

"We don't use the _real_ Sentinel attacks until you become a senior, Morph."

The boy blanched (well, Sam thought he did; it was hard to tell under his already pale skin) and shut up.

"All right, prepared?" said Rob. He and Sam stepped out of the room. "You have five minutes, and then we'll come in to pick up whoever's gotten beat down by then." They signaled at Remy, lounging in the control room, who nodded and started the sim.

"Ok, let's see," Sam said, ticking down the list of names. "We have Husk, Chamber, Morph, Northstar, Aurora, Wind Dancer, Squid Boy, and Dust. Slim pickings indeed." (4)

"What were you expecting?"

Sam grinned. He and Rob had been best friends in high school, and it seemed like that bond had reappeared.

It _was_ a pretty tough sim. But they still sucked. Squid Boy, whose powers weren't very assault-designed, was the first one taken out, slammed into a wall by one of Wind Dancer's errant winds. When she freaked and tried to apologize, she got paintballed by the Sentinel she'd been trying to trip up in the first place. Since the boy was knocked out anyway, it was doubly pointless. Morph had pretty much let the Sentinels take him, freezing like a rabbit in headlights when one of them turned on him. He was sitting beside Wind Dancer, looking dazed. As for Dust, she had changed herself into a tornado, scouring one of the Sentinels. Unfortunately, the air she sucked in brought paintballs with it, and when she changed back into her normal shape, she was covered in splatters. She was beside Morph, staring at her feet.

The others, though, were faring all right. Aurora and Northstar decided to merely outrun the Sentinels instead of attacking them; what mattered was outlasting, not defeating, anyway. So, really, the only ones holding their own were Husk and Chamber. Husk had peeled off her skin to change it into the brick of the apartment next to her. It made it hard for her to dodge the paintballs, but Chamber kept blasting them out of the air for her.

"Why're you helpin' me?" she demanded, tripping up one of the robots and watching it crash. "You want this spot as much as I do!"

_I'll win anyway, sunshine,_ said Chamber. He pulled down his scarf, blasting the Sentinel from the space where his chest used to be. A second Sentinel went up in smoke, collapsing on top of the other one. He winked at her, and Husk stuck her tongue out at him.

"Jerk!"

_Who's helpin' who here, girl?_

Above them, Aurora and Northstar had stopped running from their pursuer, nodding at each other. "_Un, deux, trois_!" On the last number, the twins slammed into the bot, blasting through the other side at hyperspeed. Aurora, of course, slammed into a brick wall, sliding down unconscious. Northstar glanced down at her as though uncertain whether to be worried she was hurt or glad she was out of the running. "If I can keep this up, I might actually win!" He flew up as high as the Danger Room's simulated sky would let him, dodging paintballs left and right.

Two Sentinels closed in on Husk and Chamber. _If we get rid of this 'un they'll have to take us all,_ Chamber commented.

"Dibs on the left one," Husk replied. She rushed it and started to climb, heading for the weak spot behind the knee.

Chamber yanked on his scarf again, dodging splats as he got in a good spot to fry his Sentinel. Before he could, though, Husk's robotic enemy took off, kicking out. She went flying.

_Paige!_ Chamber yelled. In his distraction he got paintballed, but he had no mind for that.

It hadn't nearly been five minutes, but Sam came rushing in anyway, hearing Chamber's mental shout.

Rob sighed and followed him. He doubted the X-squirts had lasted this long anyway.

Sam dashed through the maze that was Bayville; he knew his way around this sim. Chamber squatted by Husk. _I think she's ok, just down for the count._ Sam frowned as Chamber, who seemed to have forgotten he was there, gently brushed a strand of blonde hair out of the girl's face.

"So're y-" Sam didn't get to finish his sentence. His brotherly concern had caused him to forget one very important thing about DR sims: everyone was a target. He got a paintball in the back of his neck and blacked out himself.

"Wow," said Morph. "Two Guthries K.O.'ed in one day. Must be a new record."

Northstar landed, looking around. "Does this mean I win?"

&&&

When Sam came to, he was still in the Danger Room, but the sim had ended. Rob was beside him, looking anxious. "Somebody get the number of that brick," Sam mumbled.

You ever have one of those moments where life slaps you in the face with a figurative fish? This was one of those.

Rob, looking incredibly relieved, kissed him square on the mouth. And for the second time that day, Samuel Zachary Guthrie passed out.

(Some cliffhanger, huh? Bwahahah. Review!)

(1) I think this is a quote from "Passing the Torch" by Toddfan. One of the Chronicles, at least.

(2) …Technically, Jono is from London, but I didn't know that when I did this section, and the joke amuses me.

(3) Rahne is pronounced RAIN. She is SCOTTISH. I don't care how Kitty said it in "Retreat". Logan is the only one who's ever said it right in Evolution. There are several comic references to how to properly pronounce it.

(4) Technically, none of these guys were ever on the same team. Husk and Chamber, as I've said, are both Generation X, Morph was an Avenger, Northstar was part of the real X-men for a while, and Aurora was a member of Alpha Flight. As for the rest… eh, picked 'em off UXN. I think most of them are part of the New X-men. Don't really know that much about them. I'm not sure if Dust can create whirlwinds, but she has a two-sentence cameo. I think we can let it slide.


	4. Chapter 4

Disclaimer: "I need a drink." "But you don't drink." "I've been meaning to start."

(An: This chapter has my favorite scene in this story. Ever. It was soo much fun to write.)

This time, Sam woke up in the med lab. "Tell me it was a bad dream."

"I'm sorry, Cannonball, but if you're referring to the kiss in the DR it was very real," said a voice.

Sam looked over. Jean-Paul was sitting with his nose in a book, his voice as dry as ever. A slight smirk came onto Northstar's face. "It was pretty funny, too."

"JP, why are you here?"

"Well, I got the spot on the X-men, but I need you to sign this thing. And Tabitha told me to tell you she's busy bitch-slapping Roberto for hitting on her man... that's bad, right?"

"Yeah."

"I thought so... she looked pretty mad, anyway."

"Did you hear what Rahne thought about this?"

JP looked up, his head cocked. "Why would you ask that, sir?"

Sam stared back at the ceiling again. "No reason... except that the guy who molested me _was_ her husband."

"Molested, sir? Was it really that bad? God knows _I'd_ like to get grabbed like that by Sunspot... mmm."

"He's too old for you. And didn't you have a thing for Bobby, last time I checked?"

"I'm just saying, sir."

Sam sighed. "If I sign the verification form, will you go away?"

"Absolutely!" Sam got a clipboard and a pen shoved into his hands. "_Merci_," JP said, taking it back when Sam had done as asked. "Now, if you don't mind, I'm going to go rub this in Aurora's face. _Au revoir_!"

Sam rolled his eyes. The French boy was nuts. If he had been in a better mood, JP probably would have seemed more rational, but right now he just wanted to sulk.

&&&

Rahne was sitting on her bed, staring at the floor. If she just sat here, maybe this wouldn't be real and her life would continue as it had. Sure, things hadn't been great, but she had been able to handle them. As if the whole mess wasn't complicated enough!

Rob sat down, back to back with her. For a moment, neither of them said anything. "Rahne, I-"

"Please don't explain. It would be extremely awkward." She knew Rob would tell her the truth much less bluntly or quietly than he would anyone else; they weren't in love, but they were close... and after sleeping with someone for four years, shyness tends to fade.

"You have no idea." Rob sighed. "We were stupid, weren't we?"

"I think so. Loving the same person is no substitute for loving each other."

"_Que_!" Rob slid over so they were facing each other and Rahne noticed he had a black eye. Obviously, Tabitha had found him before he'd come here. "What did you just say?"

"You heard me."

"One, I am _not_ interested in Sam that way. _God_ could ask me why I kissed him and I wouldn't be able to explain. And two, _you_ are?"

"That's why I asked you not to explain... it's ok."

"Well _shit_."

"Exactly."

Rahne and Roberto talked for a little while longer, but none of it was very important. The only thing they came out with in the end was to get an annulment and divorce on good terms.

&&&

"Ah, you're awake," said Beast, coming in the room.

Sam _was_ awake, sitting on the edge of his bed. "Yeah, yeah, can I go?"

"Ordinarily I'd ask you to stay for further testing... but at worst you have a mild concussion, and I do remember who you're married to."

"Thanks, Hank, bye!" Sam high-tailed it out, looking for Tabby.

&&&

"Tabby?" Sam called, walking down a hallway. He was in the new boarding quarters, which were way swankier than the ones he'd had as a teen. He would have bet his left foot that Tabby was in one of them, probably with Amara, but maybe Jubilee or... Rahne.

How was _she_ doing? Tabby was smart enough to know that Sam wasn't interested in Rob that way, but his friend had initiated the kiss. Sam shuddered. The idea of Rob... like that was pretty damn weird. The red-haired girl had been distant lately anyway; their friendship had changed both from years apart, their marriages, and the whole kissing thing, but he didn't think it was beyond repair... even if he had been lying when he agreed with her assertion that it was a one-time thing. Making out in a bathroom would change any relationship (except maybe his and Tabby's; that was a pretty normal thing), but it seemed like she was avoiding him. They hadn't exchanged much beyond pleasantries since that phone call.

Sam was so distracted with his thoughts on Rahne that he almost walked into Amara. The Nova Roman princess couldn't have looked any less like herself. Her makeup was smudged, her hair was a mess, and her eyes were red. She looked like a girl who'd just had a good long cry, in other words. As though sensing his thoughts, she brushed a strand of hair behind her ear and wouldn't meet his eyes. He blinked. "Are you all right?"

She sniffled. "She's in the common room, if you wanted to know. Tabitha, I mean."

"Uh..."

"I've told you where she's at and that's all you need to know of her, Samuel," Amara snapped. He knew that she and Tabitha had had something more than friendship in the past, but he'd never asked. The only thing he knew was that Tabby got dumped for some guy named Empath. It had been after that, in fact, that Tabby had expressed interest in him. The Amara he knew showed up when she tossed her hair over her shoulder and glided off, her nose in the air.

"Oh, good, I was worried."

&&&

"I heard about Rob," said Dani, sitting next to Rahne. They were in the kitchen and Rahne was staring morosely at the saltshaker. The end of her marriage was actually a good thing, but she'd never been the greatest at coping with change. Even if she was single now, Tabby would never give up Sam, and _they_ were obviously in love.

"It's not a big deal."

"Your husband kissed a guy and you're getting a divorce."

"And..."

"And shouldn't you be more upset?"'

"I'm not in love with him, I'm in love with the guy he kissed."

This floored Dani about as bad as it had Rob. "...You're kidding. You and Cannonball?"

"Since I was fourteen. They don't call it a crush for nothing."

"So you've liked this guy for like, a decade? Wow."

"Yep."

"And he's clueless?"

"Yep."

"And you guys maintain a friendship through all this? I admire you, I really do."

"I'm surprised you call it a friendship... you've seen nothing but me staying the hell away from him."

"Yes, that _does_ raise a few questions... so why're you avoiding him?"

Rahne buried her face in her hands. "I jumped him in a bathroom."

"...Was it good?"

"Oh, God, yes," Rahne said, before realizing what an odd question it was.

Dani studied her friend out of the corner of her eye as she said, "Well, I'm just saying, in case I ever feel like trying it myself." (1)

"Yes, you have my permission to stalk Rob. We're not involved anymore, and maybe you can help him actually figure out what he wants..."

"If I can get him to look my way," Dani sighed, resting her head in her hands.

"He likes bathing suits."

"Thank you!" Danielle gave Rahne a quick hug around the shoulders and zipped off.

_That probably wasn't wise, seeing as it was Dani... oh, well. Rob needs shaking up._

&&&

Rob was sitting in the gym, panting. He had just thrashed the hell out of the punching bag when Amara sat beside him. The Brazilian did a double-take when he spotted her. She looked disheveled, which was completely unlike her.

"Do you know what we need to do, Roberto?" she asked.

"Er..."

"We need to get drunk. Good and drunk."

"We do?"

"Yes."

Rob turned and studied her. There were slight signs that she might've been crying earlier; her hair was mussed and her eyes were red. "Why?"

"Because, my friend, you are getting a divorce and I have just had to assure my best friend that her marriage is ok." She looked him over. "Besides, the non-hets of this school need to stick together."

"I'm not gay!"

Amara's eyebrows went up.

_Well, at least she's well enough to do that scathing glare thing..._

After a moment, she shook her head. "Whatever. Just come on. I'll buy." She grabbed his hand and pulled him up before he could protest.

&&&

Several hours later found Rob and Amara in a bar; Rob slumped over it, and Amara rubbing her temples. Both of them were well and truly smashed.

"I'm telling you, Rob, it's a sad state of affairs." Amara's words were rather slurry, but Rob was just as drunk as she was, so she made perfect sense.

"How so?"

"You and me."

"Amen." Rob paused, taking a sip of his beer. "Well, we know my problem... what's yours?"

"Isn't it obvious, 'Berto?" When he just stared at her, Amara went on. "Since I have been here, I have been expected to smile and wave at my 'friend'. I have been expected to _smile_ while she sits with that... that _Southerner_!"

"Is there something the matter with Sam?"

"Since you kissed him, probably not. My problem with him is that he is married to Tabby. I was an idiot to let her get away, Rob! That Hellion _bastard_ I left with dumped me three weeks later. And all because I was scared what Daddy would think!" She slammed her fist down on the counter. "To hell with Daddy. I don't care about my responsibilities. I care about my heart, the fact that it breaks every time I look at her... you must understand, what with you and Sam and all..."

"I told you, I don't know _why_ I kissed him," Rob hissed (well, for a drunk man). "I just... did, ok? Sam's my best friend! If anything happened to him..."

"You'd go back to being the rude, quiet, shy boy you once were."

Rob hated that she got blunt when she got drunk. "Yes, yes, whatever. The point is, I was confused, ok? I knew things weren't going well with him and Rahne- things weren't going well with _me_ and Rahne- and... and..." He threw his hands in the air. "I don't know!"

"It's ok, you'll admit it eventually... gods only know _I_ was confused when I let Tabitha kiss me the first time..." She looked down at her drink. "I don't think we're drunk enough, Roberto."

"Me either."

&&&

When the two of them got back to the mansion, they were still very inebriated. Amara clapped Rob on the back.

"We should do this again sometime."

"I'll call you the next time I kiss a guy."

"Good strategy."

(I seriously love writing Amara and Rob scenes. They're fun! Review!)

(1) An oft-ignored aspect of Dani's personality is that, despite her strong sense of duty and honor… she is a terrible, terrible flirt. Seriously, her preferred civvies usually require double-sided tape to stay on.


	5. Chapter 5

Disclaimer: "Why is there a fork in my fanny?" "It's Cupid's fork! Of love! I love you!"

(An: This chapter has Dani/Rob! Squee! This pairing is sooo much fun.)

The next morning, Rob woke up nursing a major headache. He had accomplished nothing with getting drunk, as usual, which was why he didn't usually do it. He looked around the room he'd moved into (since he had been the one to break up the marriage, he had let Rahne keep their room). It was bare and impersonal. So much so that, despite the jackhammer that had moved into his brain, he got up and left.

Stumbling into the kitchen, he was unsure whether to be interested or disgusted by Dani's presence. The woman had been stalking him since she came to the mansion, much less subtly now that he and Rahne weren't together (he had the sneaking suspicion that the Scottish girl had given Dani her blessing, since they were so close). She was gorgeous and funny and pretty damn desperate. In other words, she was insanely attractive but also kind of scary.

Dani was currently watching him out of the corner of her eye.

"If you're going to stare at me, please do it blatantly," Rob said, looking for a muffin. "It's been almost five years since I flirted."

"...That's pathetic." However, Dani took him up on his offer and Rob quickly discovered why girls found it so unpleasant to be undressed by someone's eyes. It was kind of flattering, though... in a weird way.

"Glad someone agrees with me." He sat down across from her. "Muffin?"

Dani accepted it. "Well, there's a pick-up line I've never heard…"

"Six years."

"You know, from what Rahne told me, you were always the quiet one."

"Got sick of it somewhere between kissing my best friend and getting punched in the eye by his wife."

"Oh. That explains the mark."

"What did you think it was?"

"I dunno… despite what Rahne said, I figured she still took a piece outta you… can't believe you'd pick Sam over her, though." She grinned, raising her eyebrows as she sipped her coffee.

Rob blinked. "What flavor _are_ you?"

"Haven't decided. You might swing it, though. Boys are so passe, but you're more interesting than most."

"Well, at least _you_ think I'm straight…"

"No, not really. I just don't care. Life's too short to give a damn about gender. 'Sides, it's the majority you're attracted to that determines your sexuality. As long as you don't go around snogging any more boys, I think we can conclude you're straight."

"Goody."

"Don't be such a downer, 'Berto, honestly. You need an attitude adjustment, and I think I'm the one to do it."

Rob raised an eyebrow. "Oh, really?"

Dani smirked at him. "Totally. So, what time?"

"What time what?"

"What time are you picking me up on Friday?"

"I wasn't aware I was doing any such thing."

Dani paused, tapping her lips with a finger. Although he hadn't thought it possible, those lips formed a nastier smirk. It took him a couple of seconds to register it when they attached themselves to his.

Rob jumped back and almost fell out of his chair, blinking rapidly.

Dani (who was left slumped halfway over the table) rolled over on her back, still grinning at him. "So, how about eight?"

"Eight sounds good," said Rob, sounding faint.

"Of course it does." Dani sat up, grabbed him by the collar, and kissed him again. "For good measure." She paused, frowning. "Don't you have a class right now?"

&&&

The encounter with Dani had left Rob with new confidence, even though he'd had to book it to make it to his class (Rob taught Spanish, although his language was Portuguese; video lessons were truly a gift from above).

This lovely confidence had hovered like a bubble beneath his feet, and it had floated him gently all the way to Sam's door. That was, unfortunately, when the bubble had popped. Rob knew he'd have to make it up with Sam eventually (they were usually stuck together on missions or for teaching), but the prospect wasn't the greatest.

Well, he was there, at least. He closed his eyes and knocked.

"Yeah, what?" Sam called from inside.

Rob wished that the confidence bubble would return. Somehow, he still managed to force out, "Can I come in?" His voice didn't shake, but his Brazilian accent had returned; it was a small price to pay. At least he was still speaking English.

There was a pause; to Rob, it seemed like he could reach out and poke the silence. It seemed happy enough to give him a great big hug, after all. After a moment, the door opened, and Sam poked his head out. The blonde looked him over, his face impassive. "Nice shiner," Sam commented after a moment.

Rob unconsciously touched his eye and regretted it. Wincing, he said, "Yeah. I'd forgotten just how powerful Tab's left hook is."

"Never a good idea," Sam agreed solemnly. He stepped aside and let Rob in, and the two of them sat on the bed.

Rob suddenly realized how similar this had been to the conversation he'd had with Rahne. The feeling of déjà vu only increased when he realized that, like then, he had no idea what he was going to say.

The silence returned, snuggling into the space between them and grinning. Neither man looked at each other, and for about five minutes, the only sound was of their breathing.

Finally, Rob closed his eyes again. That always seemed to help when he had to be frank about his feelings; if he couldn't see the other person's face, he couldn't feel as much of the pressure. "If I tell you something, will you swear not to tell anyone else? …Especially not Amara?"

Sam glanced at him, weirded out by what he added, but said, "Uh, sure, man."

"I had a crush on you when we were younger. I was lonely, and you were the only guy who was nice without an agenda, you know? I mean, I got over it after a while, but I guess when I thought you were really hurt…" Rob shrugged uncomfortably, but Sam nodded. There was an advantage to being best friends; they usually got what you meant even if you couldn't say it.

There was another pause. Then Sam said, "Don't worry about it, man. The past is past, right?"

Rob opened his eyes, grinning. "Right."

Sam smiled back sweetly for a moment, and then his expression turned wicked. "So why am I not allowed to tell Amara?"

&&&

It was a Sunday morning and Rahne had nothing to do. She considered lying in bed for a while longer, just to avoid the possibility that came to mind, but nothing doing. In disgust with herself, she jumped out of bed and began digging around in her dresser. She knew she had a skirt in there somewhere…

&&&

Ten minutes later found Rahne in a confessional, still unsure of what she was doing. "Bless me, father, for I have sinned," Rahne murmured, crossing herself. "It's been… um… about eleven years since my last confession."

"I'm not sure I have that kind of time," the priest murmured. "Can I have the Cliff Notes version?"

Rahne smiled half-heartedly. _He doesn't have to know I vowed never to come back to church after I found out my da was the same guy who told me I was a bastard every day of my life…_ "Sure. It possible to arrange for an annulment during a confession?" (1)

"Ah, so it's that state of affairs… Why don't you wait in the lobby until I'm finished here? We can discuss this further."

"Thank you, Father."

"Don't worry, I get things like this all the time."

_Why am I not surprised?_

She wandered out into the entranceway to the church, idly glancing around at all the sacred symbols she'd been so familiar with in her youth. She was startled to feel quite peaceful- usually, religious paraphernalia made her want to go wolf and find some secluded spot to howl her rage (she'd never gotten over the way she'd been treated by her priest father). But it seemed that some scrap of the pious little girl she'd been before meeting her foster mother, Moira, remained and still pined for the recognizable.

She was even more startled to see a skinny black man absently flipping through a pamphlet and shifting from foot to foot. The spikes sticking out of his skin were as out of place as his bare feet.

She walked over. "_Evan_?"

The man glanced at her, and a small smile came across his face. "Hello, Rahne."

Rahne cocked her head. There was something changed about him- the anger that had been as visible as his bone plates was gone from his face. "I never plugged you as the church sort…"

Evan grinned. "Believe me, I'm not. Jessie is, though."

"Jessie?"

"Oh, right, Callisto. Um, well, she is, and she wanted to do this thing right." He held up the pamphlet.

Rahne glanced at it, then at him. "Storm never said anything about you getting married!" she said, returning the grin. She and Evan had never been very close, but he and the Morlock's leader deserved a bit of happiness, and it made her feel better that things could work out right for someone.

Evan's grin turned a touch nervous. "I haven't told her yet- haven't even told my parents. I'm a little frightened of how they'd react, honestly. You know, my mom fainted when she finally found out that I was living in a sewer, and Auntie O and Cally have never exactly gotten along."

"Well, good for you anyway."

"Now what're _you_ doing here? As far as I remember, you proclaimed on your first day at the mansion that you were never setting foot in a church again."

"Except if I got married," Rahne agreed, nodding. She looked at the floor. "I'm, uh, getting an annulment, as it happens."

"You and Rob didn't work out, then?"

"Nae, and we've got the ultimate false pretense- we were both in love with Sam."

"We're talking about the same Rob, right?"

"Yeah, I know- don't ask. It's a long story."

"Am I sorry about this or pleased that you have your freedom back?"

Rahne's smile turned sardonic; she shrugged. "I hardly know myself. I've tried taking stock, and I always get the same conclusion: I'm in love with some guy who will never love me."

"Sure about that?"

"All anyone has to do is look at him and Tabby to figure _that_ out. And I've been a real jerk to him since he came back to the Institute… I guess no one would blame me for not wanting to deal with it, but it's not really how you treat the guy you love."

"Ah, no, we all take harsh steps to protect ourselves. I bet he'd be more understanding than you think."

Rahne sighed. "Oh, even if that's true, I could never break them up… you weren't there when Amara left Tabby. I think she'd kill herself if it happened twice."

"Well, if you ever get the chance, you should go for it, kid. Everybody deserves a little light in their lives." The priest came out of the confessional. "Good luck with your mess." He shot her a two-fingered salute, grinning like a fool.

Rahne smiled back as he walked off, but she couldn't help wondering if anyone would ever brighten like that at the prospect of marrying her.

(The Evan cameo was Morlock's suggestion. Writing him was fun for once. Review!)

(1) Annulments can be gotten on the basis that one party was not intending to be faithful, according to Wikipedia, at least.


	6. Chapter 6

Disclaimer: "All this love. Makes me want to puke."

(An: This chapter has St. John's only cameo. For shame me, for shame.)

It was sickening, the way she looked at him. Anyone else would have found it sweet (or nauseating, perhaps, but that was only something the truly bitter could manage), but it made Amara almost suicidal.

That was not the way Tabby looked at her lovers. At least, it was not the way she had looked at Amara. She was faking it- could no one else see it? Could no one else see that, while her smiles at him touched her eyes, it was not the way she had smiled at Ray or Lance and definitely not the way she had smiled at Amara herself? This was the way Tabitha looked at her friends. Perhaps the way she looked at the dearest of them all, but it was still a friend gaze nonetheless.

_Why does she feel she must keep up this façade? I still love her, she must know that, and yet she won't stop playing with Sam. It's horrible, what she's doing to him. He clearly loves her, and she's- she's _using_ him!_

Tabitha glanced over at her, as though she could tell Amara was directing such thoughts in her direction, and Amara quickly ducked her head, pretending to be immersed in her book. _I should do something about this, really… but what?_

&&&

"…You want _me_. To help _you._ Because…?"

Amara sighed, running a hand through her hair. It was still shoulder-length, but somewhere along the way she had dyed it blonde. It had been several years back, after Empath dumped her. She had claimed that it had been to show her people that breaking off an engagement with someone was not going to stop her from ruling her country the best way she could, but really, it had been to remind herself of Tabitha. "I need to make a big statement to the woman I love." (1)

St. John Allerdyce paused a moment, processing this. "…And you came to me?" he asked, after a moment. He sounded sort of flattered but also a bit wary. Unlike Remy and Piotr, he had never defected to "the good guys". He had made it very clear that he was sticking with "the bad guys". Of course, this was because the woman he loved was with "the bad guys", but still. His confusion was understandable, since Amara had never switched teams or betrayed anybody or basically done anything but be a loyal teammate since she started. Sure, she was never exactly enthusiastic, but she was there for her friends when they needed her, even though, like most of them, she had gone off active duty for a while after graduating high school.

"Yes, you."

"Ok, I'll bite. Why should I help?"

"I came to you because I figured you'd be sympathetic. I mean, any guy who writes romance novels for a living has to believe in love…"

"Lady, all of the stuff I write is pure, formulaic bullshit."

Amara raised an eyebrow.

"Ok, maybe not, but still."

Amara sighed in disgust, facepalming. "It's an excuse for you to play with fire." While Amara could generate heat so intense the oxygen around her combusted, she could only point and shoot; she needed Pyro's control for a project like this. (2)

He instantly grinned. "All right, sheila, I'll help you, but one final question: do I get to watch?"

Amara's eye twitched. "Don't make me regret this."

&&&

Tabitha couldn't sleep. She'd been plagued by insomnia for a while now, though her husband didn't know it. It wasn't surprising; she had a lot to think about. There was Sam, who had been so detached from her since they came to the mansion. It wasn't that he didn't treat her the same; they still kissed and cuddled and did all sorts of lovely, kinky things, but it didn't _feel_ the same. Sam's mind was on someone else; not just when she was around, but all the time. Then there was Rahne, who was probably the source of the problem; she'd done nothing but ignore both of them the whole time they'd been there. Rahne and Tabitha had never been great friends, but they had gotten along well enough when forced, and Sam and her had been nearly inseparable when they were younger. And one couldn't think about Rahne without thinking about Rob. Roberto Da Costa. What the hell was his deal? One does not go about snogging another girl's man… at least, not without letting the girl watch.

All of these thoughts, though, were just distractions from the one person who had always been in her thoughts from the moment they'd met: Amara Aquilla. Was she sitting awake tonight, too? Was she thinking the same things? Amara had suggested that she still loved her, but Tabitha had brushed her off; had Amara reconsidered and decided to move on for good? Was thinking about these questions really a good substitute for finding the answers?

She was startled out of her thoughts by a clunk at the closed balcony doors. She glanced at Sam, who hadn't stirred, and curiosity won out. She crept over to the doors and headed outside. There was a rock by her door, so someone had indeed been trying to get her attention… but who?

Tabby looked around. When she didn't see anything, she shook her head and was about to go back inside when a spark caught her eye. Tabitha frowned, and the spark grew, turning into fiery letters about six inches high. "Hey! You!" Tabitha raised an eyebrow. "Yeah, you!"

The fire letters went out for a moment, leaving her in darkness. After a moment, they came back, now reading, "Sorry about that. Had to get your attention. I tried to find a blanket cliché that would express all of my feelings for you. Despite my knowledge of romance novels, I had no luck. Pyro (he's helping me if you can't tell) suggested song lyrics, but all of the songs he suggested had fire in them. I decided against that, obviously. So, as hard as it is, I'm going to tell you how I feel in my own words… Oh, by the way, this is Amara." Tabitha's lips twitched.

The fire letters went out again. When they didn't come back instantly like before, Tabby frowned. Had Amara reconsidered what she was going to say? Was she going to run away again? The only thing Tabitha was sure about was that she couldn't go back in her room and crawl in bed with Sam… not without sobbing herself to sleep, that was.

Her concerns were allayed as the letters came back. "I'm sorry for the wait… this is hard for me, as you should know, especially through a means like this." The words hung in the air for a moment. "I never should have left you. Manuel was a jerk who left me after we got back to Nova Roma. If I searched for a thousand years, I could never find the words to express how sorry I am that I hurt you. I love you, Tabitha, and I can only hope that's enough."

A bush near the balcony shivered, and then Amara was shoved out into the open. She flipped off the bush, then turned to face the balcony. She blinked several times, only fully registering that Tabby had jumped at her when they collided. The women just looked at each other for a moment, neither sure how to break the silence. After a moment, Amara said in a shaky voice, "So, does this mean I'm forgiven?"

Tabby answered with a kiss. Pyro didn't watch.

&&&

When Sam woke up the next morning, he was surprised to find no warm lump beside him. He glanced at the clock, which only exacerbated his confusion. It was seven AM. Tabitha never surfaced before nine if she could help it. He sat up, scratching his head and looking around for some clue to her whereabouts. Squinting against the evil sunlight filtering in through the open balcony door, he spotted something shiny on the dresser. Curiosity perked, he went over to inspect it.

The shiny something was Tabitha's wedding ring.

It took Sam a moment to process this. His brain simply refused to believe that this was what he was seeing. It took him even longer to notice the note beside the ring.

"Dear Sam," it read. "I didn't have much chance to think about this, so I couldn't come up with an eloquent way to put it. I'm not even sure if there is one. You love me, but I've been lying to you. Truth is, I never got over Amara, and she's taken me back. I'm sorry, Sam, I really am. I think you're the greatest guy on the planet, which is why I think you deserve better. I probably should have told you all of this in person, but I figured you'd be better equipped to take it when you were fully awake. -Tabitha"

Sam stared at the note. Unlike the ring, he understood this away. The only thing he didn't understand was why he wasn't more upset. He loved Tabitha, right? He always had, hadn't he? She was a wonderful girl, crazy and impulsive and gorgeous. They had a great relationship; he kept her grounded, and she kept him from getting stuck in a rut.

Except it hadn't been that great, had it? The whole time, Tabitha had been lying about her feelings, and Sam had cheated on her. With Rahne.

_Oh, Lord,_ Sam thought, sitting down on the bed. He was still holding the note, but he wasn't thinking about that anymore. Rahne was on his mind.

They had been best friends for their teenage years; after the team split up, they had stayed close until their respective marriages. Come to think of it, the shine had gone off their friendship when he'd proposed to Tabitha. And Rahne had been rather frosty to him when he'd just been dating her. Plus, she'd been the one to initiate the bathroom incident, which all added up to… _Holy shit. Rahne's in love with me._ It all made sense- why she'd been avoiding him since the bathroom incident, why she hadn't been overly upset about her marriage, the way she'd acted over all those years, period.

There was still one thing that bugged him, _had been_ bugging him for ages, ever since it happened. He hadn't really allowed himself to think about it, but it seemed like he would have to now. _Why did I kiss Rahne back?_ It was true, he had been surprised and hadn't really registered it was Rahne… but he hadn't let up when he did. In fact, hadn't that been the point he'd moved from just making out to the clothing stuff?

As if Sam hadn't had enough things to deal with that morning, a third one hit him: _Holy _shit!_ I'm in love with Rahne!_

Considering, Sam really wished he'd slept in.

&&&

In general, Rahne and Rob's visit to the priest was pretty awkward. Going to the mansion's lawyer to file a divorce was even moreso. (3)

But somehow, both survived with most of their dignity (and their friendship) intact. Ok, so not much eye contact was made, but at least they weren't at each other's throats like the couple that came in after them.

When they walked out of the lawyer's office, both just stood there a moment, staring at each other. There was a hell of a lot that had gone unsaid between them, and it had never been so obvious. After a moment, Rob stuck out his hand. Rahne tackled him instead.

She propped her elbow on his chest and her chin on her fist, looking down into his face. "I've never been best friends with a gay guy before," she commented.

Rob pushed her off, calling her something obscene in Portuguese.

"It's not much of an insult if I can't understand it," she pointed out, smirking at him.

Rob stood up, brushing off his shirt. "Actually, that's the fun of it. Pays you back for calling me a 'muckle sumph'- whatever the _hell_ that is."

Rahne stood on tiptoe to pat him on the head, beaming at him. Rob made a face at her. "You know, I thought this would be more awkward…" Rahne murmured.

"It _was_ awkward."

"I meant the normal niceties between you and me. Isn't that the way it's supposed to be?"

"Woman, I listened to you snore for four years. And now both of us want to make out with each other's best friend. If it were awkward, we'd end up killing ourselves. I guess that's the price, though."

"For what?"

"When stupid people fall in love."

Rahne laughed and punched his arm. She agreed with him, though.

(Ah, the title quote. I originally wanted Sam to say it… but Rob's more the type. Ok, all you lot out there, this is getting a buttload of hits but has barely any reviews. It en't fair. Review… please?)

(1) Amara in the comics is a lot different from Amara in Evo; the blond hair is one big thing.

(2) No. Amara DOESN'T generate flames. She generates heat which can have the -side effect- of flames.

(3) From what I've been told, annulments can be nice and speedy if both parties and the priest are in agreement.


	7. Chapter 7

Disclaimer: "Damn the human body and its distractive qualities!"

(An: This is the sweet chapter. Find your barf bags now.)

By the time Rahne and Rob got back to the mansion, the news was everywhere: Tabitha and Amara had disappeared together. Sam was also nowhere to be found.

The pair, of course, had missed the bulletin. So when Dani squeezed between them and threw an arm around both their shoulders, grinning like a fiend, they turned into walking question marks.

"What's with the grin?" Rahne asked.

Dani looked surprised. "You mean you don't know?" She paused, her grin widening. She jumped away, releasing Rob. "You mean I get to tell you?"

"Tell me what?"

Dani glanced at Rob. "This is probably news to you then, too." She looked back at Rahne. "Sam's single again today."

Rahne stared at her. "If you're playing some kind of joke on me," she whispered, backing up, "it's not funny. Not even remotely in that 'we'll find this amusing twenty years from now' way."

Dani put a hand on her hip. "I'm dead serious. Tabitha left him last night. Nobody's seen him all day- when he skipped out on teaching without telling anybody, Paige looked in there and saw her ring! And Tabitha and Amara are both gone!"

After a moment of more blank staring, Rahne pushed past Dani. "I- I have to go," she stammered.

Dani looked after her, confused. "I thought she'd be excited," she said, looking at Rob.

Rob moved closer, putting an arm around her waist. "She's confused. Give her time to think. She'll be all hyper and sugar-crazed once it really hits her."

Dani rolled her eyes. "So, still up for tonight?"

"My other option is grading papers with so many spelling errors that my eyes start to bleed."

Dani kissed his cheek, beaming at him.

&&&

What Rahne wanted most was to go wolf. This was a common urge when she had to deal with her feelings for Sam; it all confused her so much that she wished she could stay wolf permanently so she'd never have to sort it out. She was pretty sure at the beginning that it had been just a crush, but it certainly wasn't anymore. She was in love, plain and simple. That had been easy enough to stand when she thought she had no chance, but it was clear that Sam had _some_ sort of feelings for her. He hadn't put up much of a fight in the bathroom, after all. So what could she do now? She certainly couldn't go on ignoring him, but had doing so ruined her chances with him?

All of this went through her head as she walked to a familiar place: Jubilee's room. When their team had disbanded, Jubilee and Bobby had both stayed to be on the X-men proper, and Bobby had replaced Rahne as Jubilee's roommate. Rahne knocked, trying to remember if her Asian friend was teaching at the moment.

She got lucky for once; Jubilee wasn't. Her face instantly lit when she saw it was Rahne, morphing into her eager gossip expression.

Rahne hurriedly spoke first; she knew it was hard to get a word in when Jubilee got going. "I heard about Sam."

Jubilee's grin didn't dim; she pulled Rahne inside and shoved her onto the bed. "Isn't it great? Tabby's back with her soulmate, and Sam's free!" Jubilee squealed and hugged her.

Rahne carefully pried her off. "He's also hurting," she pointed out. "And they say rebound relationships never work."

"Yeah, but with you and Rob and him and Tabby it's like a rebound of a rebound. I don't think it counts. I mean, it's been ten years, Rahne, the boy deserves to know-"

"Jubilee. He _already_ knows."

Jubilee frowned. "You mean you told him without telling me?"

"No- well, sort of…" She explained the whole thing, from the bathroom to the present.

Jubilee's eyes were huge when Rahne finished. "You mean you _made out_ with him and you didn't tell me?"

Rahne nodded. "And now I just don't know what to do. I mean, I should respect his and Tabby's relationship and let him move on and stuff…but do I go for it?"

"Well, you have been all Ice Queen to him lately," Jubilee agreed, scrunching her nose in thought. "But he's probably just as confused as you are, you know. If you explain, he'll probably understand."

"Or he'll never speak to me again."

Jubilee slapped her upside the head. "Rahne. The boy cheated on his wife- who he was supposedly crazy for- with you. That has to mean _something_."

"Or it could mean I'm a shameless homewrecker."

"If Tabitha left him the instant Amara threw her a bone, do you really think he had that much to come home to?"

Rahne bit her lip, looking at the floor.

"Go for it. If he doesn't bite, that's his problem."

"But what'll _I_ do if he doesn't?"

Jubilee frowned, then shrugged. "You'll survive and find somebody better."

"Somehow, I'm still not all that comforted."

Jubes jumped up and pushed Rahne off the bed and out the door. "Scoot! Go find him!"

&&&

Rahne dug around in her closet, looking through the boxes at the back. She grinned, finding one marked "high school". Inside was her generic New Recruits uniform, a few old essays she'd been proud of, and, at the bottom, a battered yellow frisbee. Rahne grinned, picking it up and savoring the smell of the beat-up plastic. Hopefully, she'd find Sam in an open space…

&&&

There was a spot out in the forest, a large clearing with a flat rock in the middle. Kurt had found it, and Logan liked to use it as 'base' for outdoor sessions. Even though coming to the rock probably meant you'd lost, it was still a popular spot for whiling away a warm spring day.

Sam was out there now, lying on his back and staring up at the sky. He had been there all morning, not worried about being discovered. It was an unspoken agreement among all of the people in the mansion not to disturb anyone on the rock (unless you were Logan). Paige had already visited (probably tipped off by Jono), sitting with him for a few minutes. When Sam didn't acknowledge her presence, she left, getting the point.

Other than that, nobody had approached him, so he was startled when a round, yellow thing zoomed over his head. He sat up, looking around.

Rahne was sitting a respectful distance from the rock, holding the frisbee. She raised her eyebrows hopefully. Sam was familiar with that expression, even though she hadn't done it for ages. It was a plea that all the New Recruits understood; even though Rahne had made it adamantly clear that she was a _wolf_, she nevertheless enjoyed playing fetch.

Sam sat up, raising an eyebrow. "Are you serious?"

Rahne dropped the frisbee and barked.

"Ok, so you are…"

She picked up the frisbee again and wagged her tail.

Sam shook his head and tried to take it from her. But she growled playfully and tugged back. "So that's how it is, huh?" Rahne's response was an affirmative-sounding growl and a harder tug. Sam smirked and yanked the frisbee away, holding it out of her reach (which had never been a hard task).

Rahne cocked her head. Instead of jumping for the frisbee, she knocked over Sam, narrowly missing the rock. She put both paws on his chest and howled.

"I've still got the frisbee," Sam replied, pushing her off. "And I intend to keep it that way." He twiddled his fingers at her before powering up and blasting off through the trees. He headed out of the forest and stopped at a wall he'd often destroyed as a kid. It was closer to the mansion, but it had sentimental value, considering how many times he'd had to rebuild it. Figuring it was far enough away to give Rahne a good hunt, he sat down with his back to the woods, spinning the frisbee.

After about 600 hippopotamuses, Sam got tackled. Again. Except this time he didn't feel furry paws. Rahne flipped him over, glaring at him and settling on his stomach. In human form. This was going to be interesting. "That was cheating, Guthrie."

"Ten minutes. Not bad." Surprised at his calm, he sat up, shoving Rahne onto his legs. "So, I take it you're talking to me again?"

Rahne frowned, scooting backwards so she was sitting on the ground. "Look, I'm sorry about the way I treated you since you came back to the mansion."

"You didn't exactly roll out the welcome mat, no."

Rahne made a face at him. "This is hard enough without your comments, you know. I'm trying to confess something here."

Sam propped his chin on his fist, raising an eyebrow.

"Remember the bathroom thing?" Sam opened his mouth, but Rahne put her hand over it. "No talking," she repeated without moving her hand. Sam's heartbeat kicked into overdrive as she continued. "Well, I lied." She paused, biting her lip and looking away.

Sam took her hand and put it in his lap. Running his thumb across her palm, he asked, "And…?"

Rahne blushed, but she met his eyes. "It _did_ mean something, and I didn't want it to be a one-time thing, and things like this do happen between friends, except that I have never once thought of you in a 'friend' way." She leaned closer. "I think you're my lifemate, Sam. I've always thought that. I was just too daft to ever tell you."

Sam wanted to come up with a witty, debonair response, but he couldn't think with Rahne kissing distance from him. "Oh. Good. I was hoping that thinking you loved me wasn't just paranoid speculation on my part. It makes being in love with you much easier to take." Having stated his piece, Sam took advantage of the proximity. In simpler terms (which was about all he could handle), he kissed her.

The perfect moment lasted about… well, a moment, until someone cleared their throat in the background. Sam turned his head; Rahne peered over his shoulder.

_I think I have a talent for walking in on people like this,_ Jono commented. _Especially you two._

Paige crossed her arms, looking annoyed. "God, Sam… you make out with Rob, you get dumped by Tabby, and now you're making out with Rahne? And you lecture _me_?"

Sam groaned, flopping back onto the grass and closing his eyes. "Why can't I ever kiss someone in private?"

Rahne cocked her head. "What's the hammer for?"

Paige quickly hid it behind her back, and Jono became fascinated by a loose thread in his trench coat.

"What're you guys doing over here, anyway?" Sam asked, cocking his head. "Nobody comes over here…unless…" He raised an eyebrow at his little sister.

Paige and Jono looked at each other. "That works," said Paige quickly. "Um, yeah! I was just going to ask Jono here if he wanted to see a movie with me!"

…_You were?_ Paige stepped on his foot. _Oh! Right! The movie! 'Sgot nothing to do with the hammer!_

"No, it doesn't."

Rahne and Sam looked at each other. "We won't say we saw you with the hammer if you guys won't tell you saw us here," Sam said. "Same still goes for the bathroom thing, Jono."

Jono didn't appear to be listening, though. _You want to date me?_ he asked Paige, looking confused but not displeased.

"Deal," said Paige, rolling her eyes. She grabbed Jono's hand and dragged him off.

"So, um…" said Sam, looking back at Rahne.

Rahne made a disgusted noise and grabbed him by the shirt collar. Sam kissed her again with a feeling of déjà vu. As an afterthought, he added, "What are we going to tell the rest of the mansion?"

"Full moon rising?" Rahne suggested.

"That works."

"Stop talking and start kissing."

(Ah, Rahm fluff. Fun. Review!)

(1)


	8. Chapter 8

Disclaimer: "You think they serve drinks at the late show?" "I think the more nervous you get, the more jokes you crack."

(An: And here is the last chapter, which is even more gag-worthy than the one before it. Ah, c'est la vie, I guess.)

Six months later. To say that the time had passed without drama for Sam and Rahne would be a lie balder than Xavier. But still, they had managed to make it to this point. The point where they were both finally free and clear; single, in other words.

Or, at least, they were pretty close.

When he told Rob about his uncertainties, he had asked, "Well, how did you do it last time?"

"With a lot of help from my good friend Jack Daniels," Sam mumbled. "But I actually want to remember proposing to Rahne."

"Do it like you'd jump into a cold pool… except don't hold your breath. That'd make it kind of hard."

"Why do I ask you for advice?"

"Because… um… I dunno. I'm less pathetic than you are, I guess."

"Right. Yeah. Let's go with that."

"Do I detect doubt in your tone?"

Sam looked at his friend, completely deadpan. "No."

"Guthrie, if I wasn't afraid my ex-wife would maul me, I'd murder you. They'd never find your body. It'd be in a tree. Far away from here."

"Ok, we really need to keep you away from alcohol in the future…" Sam muttered, facepalming.

"…But I'm not drunk."

"Exactly. You must be a terrifying creature when you are."

Rob blinked, frowning. Sam left before he could figure out if it was an insult or not.

&&&

So Sam had the ring, the question, and the opportunity. The only thing he was missing was the guts… and an easy way to get his sister to leave.

"Why are you two _always_ here?" Sam sighed, flopping on the couch next to Rahne. The common room was otherwise empty, a rarity that he wanted to take full advantage of. And maybe full advantage _in_… if he could just get Jono and Paige to leave.

Jono ignored the question; he was playing his guitar and had answered that question too many times. Paige answered for him without looking up from her magazine. "Because we like causing you anguish. You're not angsty enough, Sam. How have you managed to stay on the X-men all these years, really?"

"I bribe Xavier regularly," Sam replied absently. "Now would you shoo?"

"Why?" Paige opened her blue eyes very wide, the picture of innocence. Since she and Jono had witnessed Rahne and Sam become an item, her brother had been bumped up a few spots on her torture list.

"Because I'd prefer Ma not to know all of the gory details."

"You'd know if you ever called her that Ma's not interested in details anymore. She wants grandchildren."

While this statement was not directed at him, it still got Jono to look up so fast he nearly dropped his guitar. _You're talking to Sam, right?_

Paige's answer was a derisive look and a disgusted sigh. She shoved Jono out of his seat, sticking her tongue out at Sam. Jono (who was confused again) got dragged out of the room behind her.

Rahne looked at him. "So what did you want them to bugger off for?"

Sam pinched the bridge of his nose. "I had an eloquent speech planned about time and tide and crap, but Paige made me forget it."

"Sam, nothing you say is ever eloquent. _Ever_."

"That's a moot point. What is with you and makin' this sorta thing even harder on myself than I do?"

"What sort of thing?" Rahne hadn't shown undue interest until now; Sam wasn't the type to do anything too interesting in anywhere as public as the common room, which meant that the only information that Paige and Jono shouldn't be around to hear was X-men-only sort of stuff.

Sam sighed. "Insert eloquence here." He fished around in his pockets, coming out with a small box.

Rahne looked at it, then at him, her eyes widening. When Sam nodded, she squealed and threw her arms around him.

"That's a yes, right?" Sam asked. When Rahne gave him a "if you're serious, I'm reconsidering" look, he shut up.

Anybody else in the mansion passing by at the time (and there were several who did) would have heard nothing but the sounds of something that usually required a sock over the door. Needless to say, the common room stayed empty.

&&&

A few hours later, Rob and Dani came in the room, to find Sam and Rahne on the floor. Rahne was playing with Sam's hair, the ring on her finger sparkling in the sun, and Sam was grinning like a fool.

Dani turned and whispered in Rob's ear. "You owe me five bucks." Rob made a face at her and focused on the couple in front of them. (1)

"So, no help from Jack Daniels?"

"Only because he didn't actually ask," said Rahne, patting Sam's head fondly. "He let me play connect-the-dots."

"Never mind on the five bucks," Dani sighed.

Rob beamed at her. "I always manage to get my own back." He moved to sit on the couch.

Instantly, Rahne and Sam sprang up. "DON'TSITTHERE!"

Rob looked at them, an eyebrow raised. When Rahne and Sam both looked away, his incredulous look faded, to be replaced by utter disgust. "You didn't!" When neither responded, he cried, "House rule number fifteen, guys!"

"House rule number fifteen?" Dani asked. "I thought the only rule was don't piss off Wolverine."

"That's just a general rule," Rahne mumbled, her face in her hands. "The house rules are stuff you pick up. Number fifteen is 'no sex on stuff we all have to use'."

Dani blinked. "You guys… on the couch?" When they nodded, Dani's shock disappeared, and she actually looked rather impressed. "Wow. I didn't know you guys were into that kind of thing. Gotta admit, though, I'm not hanging in here anymore."

"It's not like Remy and Rogue didn't already break it in," Sam muttered.

"No, we bought a new couch after that, remember?" Rob said. "With the pool Bobby gathered from when they finally hooked up."

Rahne and Sam looked at each other. "Damn," they muttered in unison.

"Pretty much," Rob agreed.

"Tell anyone, and all that'll be left of you, Rob, will be a pile of bones for me to throw at people." (2)

Sam looked at her, his expression wavering between freaked out and awed.

"I picked it up from Marrow," she explained, noticing this.

Rob nodded, his expression eerily similar to Sam's. He grabbed Dani and dragged her out of the room, the latter dropping the pair a two-fingered salute.

"Was that a run?" Sam asked.

"Fast walk. The bone threat only inspires a run when I tell them I'll lick the bones clean first."

"…"

"I'm not serious, you know."

"I knew that."

"Of course you did, Sam."

Deciding to ignore the condescension, Sam glanced at the couch. "So are all of our interesting moments going to end with awkward confrontations?"

"That's what makes it interesting."

Sam snorted. "Rahne, one thing I never have to worry about with you is things getting boring."

&&&

Again, to say they lived out the rest of their lives in perfect happiness would be a heinous untruth. But their drama was more "blue-or-black-tie?" as opposed to "how-do-I-break-up-my-romantic-rival?" Which, for a couple of rather thick people, is actually pretty good.

(For the record, I HATE writing marriage fics.)

(1) You KNEW it was coming. For the uninformed masses, the five bucks joke is something I put in every humor/romance I write if I remember. And you thought I was going to forget this time!

(2) One of Rahne's action figures had this charming power… yeah, weird.


End file.
